Elbows and holes
I’ve noticed the weirdest personal phenomenon in the past six or eight months. An inordinate number of my clothing tops have worn holes in the right elbow. So far it’s been three sweaters, two blouses, and five jersey-type long sleeve stretch tops. It seems like every time I pull on a top, I find a hole in the elbow. The majority of this clothing is work clothing, stuff that I wear to the office pretty much exclusively. I can’t figure out if it’s just cheaply made clothing or fabric, or if there’s something more elaborate at play.
I’ve taken to observing my own habits, to see if there’s something I’m doing that’s wearing the right elbows abnormally. I do lean some, and being right hand dominant, lean more to the right than the left. I’m a right hand mouse user, so my arm, and elbow, are more likely to be making contact with the desk. But I’m not leaning forward on my elbows, a la Larry King during his televised interviews. Now there’s a guy who must go through some elbows. Not only does he spend most of the interview leaning up on them, like he’s about to leap out of his seat and pounce on his guest (maybe the suspenders are attached to his chair, not his pants waist) but the guy is as skinny and angular as your average med school skeleton – his bony elbows would poke through most anything. Ah, but there’s the rub. Bony and skinny, the guy is merely a hangar for most of his shirts. There’s no tension and no rubbing, because his form (I was going to say physique, but that seems a stretch) is little more than a kite frame for the shirts he wears. With me and my shirts, well, let’s just say there’s a wee bit more fill.
And some of that fill is recent; come to think of it, these holes in the elbows do coincide somewhat with the new number on my bathroom scales. Now, I’m not saying I’m busting out of my clothes, with my elbows poking through in some Hulk-like transformation (and my pants are not shredded every time I lose my temper), but things are definitely a tad snugger these days. And this extra fill doesn’t explain why it’s only the right elbows that give.
All I know is it’s supremely frustrating. My work clothes are being decimated by some sort of elbow chewing habit. When I’ve noticed the hole at work (i.e., after I’ve left the house) I’ve used Scotch tape or staples to close the hole, and once, in a fit of whimsey, a band aid. Sure, it’s noticable, but at least people know I know I have a hole. And often it’s really not that noticable. I’ve worn one favorite sweater several times this way. On Casual Fridays, of course.
When I Googled “holes in elbows” there was actually a website that had tips for avoiding this – one tip was to buy bigger shirts. Hmm. Something to think about.