12 years, 7 months, 8 days
For the first time in nearly 26 years, I am without a Rottweiler or two (or three or four) by my side. My beloved, darling Dinah is gone.
Here I am again, a mere three months after Cutter, grieving, with my sweet girl gone only a week now. She was ready to go last week, and I finally had to concede. She was the longest lived Rottweiler I ever had, by over a month (Cutter held the title for only three months). In my weakness, my inability to let go, I probably waited a day longer than I should have. Some would say a week longer, and still others would have put her down within weeks of her cancer diagnosis back in October. She was uncomfortable as the dual tumors grew on her rear leg, even with multiple pain medications, and it had come down to her refusing all food. She was always a bit of a finicky eater – I used to tease her when she was a baby, telling her there’s no way she could be a purebred Rottweiler because of her discriminating palate. (Most Rottweilers are of the “eat first, ask questions later” school of thought.) But even the fresh scrambled eggs – the only thing she would eat for me that last week – were no longer enough to entice her. I carried her to the car – she was too weak to walk on her own, and we made the drive to the ER (it was a Sunday). It was over quickly, and I drove home with the tears streaming down my face and my beloved, sweet baby so very still in the back of my car. I was back at Precious Pets Animal Crematory the next day, much sooner than I wanted to be after Cutter, but again so very thankful for them.
I knew this day would come, even when she was running around like a little crazydog at age one (she was easily the most active Rottweiler puppy I’d ever had, and made me a little crazy at times) but how did twelve years go by so quickly? A lot happened in that decade-plus, and all of it was better for having her with me.
She was the sweetest, gentlest, kindest little dog I’ve ever had the pleasure of sharing my life with. She wagged her stub tail whenever she was happy, and more than any Rottweiler I’ve ever had. She had the best recall, right from the very start, and would come to me at a dead run whenever I called her, every time. It was wonderful. She loved to run, and would do laps around the yard just for the joy of running (but it was always more fun if she could get someone – dog or human – to chase her). She used to roll on her back to get my attention, and I remember looking over from whatever was absorbing my attention (a phone call, or working on the computer, or reading) to see her, belly up, watching me upside down. Of course it was irresistible, and would immediately shift my attention to her. I used to chant/sing to her when we cuddled, Bay-be, Bay-be, Bay-by, my Babygirl.
She came to live with me at three months of age, and was with me as I said goodbye to Wil, then Trinah (her mentor), and soaked up all my emotions to become my little doppelganger. We drifted for a time, until first Jake, then Cutter burst into our lives and made us both smile again. Jake belonged to friends, and I had the pleasure of keeping him when they went on trips. She loved her boys.
After Cutter’s epilepsy was diagnosed and then progressed, life became harder for her. She wasn’t an alpha dog, but had to fill that position as the only female and with Cutter not 100%. He loved her to bits, and followed her around like a baby elephant, which alternately bolstered her and burdened her. I relied on her to help me with him, and would often call her to me when I needed him to come while we were outside. He did what he wanted, and came only if it suited him. She came every time, and since he followed her everywhere it was a win-win, for me… It weighed heavily on her, and the move in 2007 from Sammamish to Carnation was very difficult for her worried little heart. She wouldn’t come out of her crate for 10 days, and when I coaxed her outside to go potty she’d run to the car and wait for us to “go home.” I had to feed her in the crate for the first week, until she felt brave enough to eat in the kitchen with the boys. The move from Carnation to Fall City was another trauma, and her health began to deteriorate as her worries increased. When we finally made it here last year, on our own home and acreage, it was all too much. She did well at first, then withdrew when various workers I had here (roofers, fencing) left her feeling vulnerable. I couldn’t be here every minute, and feel bad that these intruders increased her worries and feeling of danger. I did it all for her, and the boys, but in her dotage she couldn’t enjoy it.
So I am Rottweilerless, and while I know the next one will come along at the right time, I miss my sweet Babygirl and my Cutter both – they were such a pair, and such an important part of my life. I am the luckiest girl in the world for having had them.
Darkwind’s Dynamo V Gettelin
8/26/98 – 4/3/11
My little Dinah-doo, Dooey-doo, my sweet heart, my babygirl